First, I am a Christian
Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment.” Mark 12:29-30 (NKJV)
Although
Miss Josie may not have been the most influential person in my life,
for years I acknowledged her as being my favorite teacher. Due to her
encouragement to be true to who I am, she remains one whom I remember
with great affection. With great effort I have indeed attempted to be true to who I am. This beckons the question, who am I?
I
am an African American woman. I am a seeker of truth. I am a wife. I am
a mother. I am a scribe and novelist. I am a daughter, aunt, sister,
and friend to many. But first, I am a Christian. I have a
God-given purpose and choose to see from His perspective every issue
that affect my life and those to whom I am called. I do not necessarily
share the limited views and opinions of those who cannot see past,
present and future in one brief glance.
I’ve
been a loner all my life; so much so that I’ve often been characterized
as unfriendly. This unwelcome view impelled me to, as much as I could
manage, become more involved with society. The effort was healthy and
created opportunities to contribute in positive ways. It also however
created opportunity to be strongly and negatively influenced by the
convictions of others. I have often pulled myself back to reflect on
questions Miss Josie would ask:
Do you really believe that? Is that who you are? Why?
As
a child I watched my small world; my grandparents and parents with
noble concepts fight for a place of dignity and expression that I enjoy
today. I watched as foundational beliefs became idolatrous leaves
floating down a stream of someone else’s agenda. Out of tradition and
excuses for bitter justification they embraced a position that, for me,
is no longer pertinent.
Never
do I want to express a thing for the primary purpose of appeasing man,
friend, family or acquaintance. I know who and whose I am, and I know I
must answer to HIM only for my choices. I am wearied by the stale and
disarming façade which suddenly appears from unexpected places. I am in
dismay and disappointment at the enemy’s rancid tactics of keeping
mankind in a cloud of unrealistic and confusing rhetoric.
Life has many layers and hidden agendas clothed in good causes that tickle the ears. As an African American I have found it necessary to weigh and measure whether I’m more black than Christian. As
Miss Josie’s former student, I have many times stepped aside to
consider who I am and remain to be. I know I do not fight against a
specific individual, but spiritual hosts of wickedness in an evil day. I
believe that in every issue and situation, we must all question why we
believe the way we do, if for no other reason than to satisfy the
lingering questions of our soul.
Am I an individual with purpose, or the shadow-puppet of another’s agenda?
Like
many others who tread the path I call righteousness, I experience
issues I’m hesitant to discuss. I continue to endure conjecture from
onlookers, misunderstanding from acquaintances, ridicule from family,
exploitation & pity from purported Christians, and humiliation from
strong-willed associates. Nevertheless, I continue in the excellence of
the power to choose what is right, which is of God and not of me.
Yes,
I am delighted to be an African American and, without doubt, honored to
be a child of the Most High God who believes that Jesus Christ is King
of kings and Lord of lords. I must resolve with absolute uncompromised
reality to think, speak, and walk in light of this truth.
Yes. I am many things, but first, I am a Christian!
Annetta P. Lee (Author)
A
Bitter Rose\Fragment in the Sand\Path of Thorns\ Scent of Rain\ Secret
Thunder\ Small Whispers\ Haven for Mirage\Light Encounters
http://www.annettaplee.com/
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